Self-publishing, self-doubt, and Indie authors

The pic is a sneak preview of my cover… exciting…
On Wednesday I ordered the proof copy of my Christmas Novella, ‘Game of Souls’ from Amazon. I celebrated with a square of chocolate and did the washing up
(God, you are so rock and roll I cannot even deal with it! Washing up – really – that’s the best you could come up with, you have a bottle of Baileys in the cupboard– I despair. Yippee, I’m back. Did you miss me? You did, didn’t you? A sad, lonely fortnight, missing my fantastic humour…) – I don’t think they did. (Wait, why have I turned purple?) Because I decided to make it clear that it’s not me talking!

I’m really excited about my Novella, as anyone will know that has self-published there is a massive amount of work that goes into it. I’ve said many times that I’m fortunate to have such fantastic support, people to read my stories and offer advice, guidance and editing. But, even with all that help, I’m hoping that there are not too many mistakes in it! I underestimated the number of times an author has to read their own work before publishing, and by then you know it so well – you simply cannot see even the glaring errors. But, that is all part of the learning curve of life (Okay calm down it’s not your memoirs! People are not reading this for some kind of lightbulb moment, trying to see into your Soul, – there is nothing there people, I kid you not! That’s why she can write about people being murdered and scary ghost stories. No soul, no emotion – nothing!)

I did wonder if I should publish the Novella at all. I’m human and suffer from self-doubt like everyone else (But, your friends say you have no emotions, so I think you’re trying to pull a fast one here!) I’m in the very early stages of my ‘writing career’ and know that every time I write, I’m learning something new, that can be said of any career I guess. But, I also know what my strengths and weaknesses are. From the feedback I’ve had, both friends and professionals now, I know that I can tell a story, but my technique – shall we say; it not going to win me a Booker Prize! (You could win the hooker prize – wait no, that’s not a good prize to win, is it. As you were. Ignore me) I can tell a story, and I’m happy with that. If someone reads my work and says, I enjoyed that – which they often do. (showoff!) Maybe they will recommend my stories to someone else – that will do for me. I’m never, ever, going to stop writing stories. I have millions of ideas and characters waiting for their stories to be told. If readers can enjoy them, and I can make a few pennies along the way – that’s a pretty good life right there. But it is difficult not to let the self-doubt in. Writing is a solitary game, and it’s hard not to let your mind get the better of you sometimes. I’m willing to learn and work hard to get what I want though, so a bit of self-doubt shouldn’t stop any of us!

On the subject of money, I just wanted to mention a little bit about what Indie authors/self-published authors earn. Now, you buy a physical book at say £4.99, the likelihood is that the author will earn approx. £1.60 depending on the royalty structure etc, for a 99p e-book, approx. 29p. Not a lot, right? (That’s not even enough to keep you in Baileys and coffee!!!) For the hours and hours of work that goes into it, you don’t earn a lot, which is pretty much why authors don’t write to get rich – they generally do it because they love it. In the next few weeks I will have my e-book – ‘A night lost to the past’ and my Christmas Novella ‘Game of Souls’ available on Amazon. I know I’m not going to earn much from this, and to be honest, it’s more about learning the process of self-publishing for me. But, any money I do earn will be put to one side so that I can afford to pay an editor to work with me on my Psychological Thriller, if I don’t get that all important publishing deal/or interest in the next 6 months.

My brother sent me a fantastic inspirational video where Arnold Schwarzenegger talks about his journey – you really should watch it (I’ll be back! Asta la vista baby…) alright give it a rest, everyone knows the sayings! Anyway, as I was saying, he talks about being knocked back, negative comments, people not believing in him. I won’t go into it all, as you really should watch it. But his main points are carry on and have an end goal.

Lastly, on the subject of self-publishing on Amazon, all I can say is – watch the instructional videos first!! As I’d published an e-book I thought it would be a similar process – it isn’t. I spent days faffing and having frustrated rantings (She proper lost it!! The swear box exploded, it literally couldn’t handle any more money– hahaha – really you have missed me haven’t you? I am like, so funny. I brighten up your Fridays – you know I do!)  If you watch the video first, I promise it will help.

That’s it from me this week. Fingers crossed I should have my Christmas Novella on Amazon, available in paperback and as an e-book next week. If you don’t want to buy it, then please share any links you see popping up here and there. It all helps. I don’t have a budget to market my story. If you could share it, that would be amazing. If you do buy a copy, I would appreciate a star rating and a review if you want to do one.

Thanks for the support folks, and thanks for the reading the blog. Have a great weekend.  (It’s goodbye from her and ‘I’ll be back’ from me…)

PS  I feel like I should apologise for (brackets), especially to Arnold, sorry I couldn’t stop them from saying your lines… I tried. Sorry.

(PPS, A novella is something between a Short Story and a book, so think of it as a little, ickle, tiny, small, tincy wincy, teeny weeny yellow polka dot… sorry, ignore that last bit, novel… a Novella – see what I did there?)